retreat :D

time cant pass any slower T_T 
2 more days and then i am on the bus with my bestfriend and sister(: 
the amazing jinju lee :P
best friends for what has seemed like FOREVER! 
and sisters since birth lol just didnt know it till now ^_^


so yes. 
2 hours on a bus. with to many koreans to count. 
and what will be we doing?
listening to music
talking
playing games
eating


yes so i have my fingers crossed for a few reasons(:
one. my bro brian needs to be there
if not then who will a bother and glomp T_T jinju isnt that glompable 
and 
two. to bunk with jinju and joyce (: but i have no clue >.< its my first time on THEIR retreat so idk where i will be placed man :/ but its okay(: we are the same age so we will be placed in the same prayer group. so bunk or no bunk we will still get to hang out :D 


i cant wait. seriously(:
4 days with kids my age hanging out. playing games. talking. and not to mention getting one on one time with our god right? brothers and sisters in Christ our Lord and Savior. 


so i KNOW for a fact that my korean friends can eat XD so they will be killing me for food. lol so i guess i will be shopping for snacks? 2 hours. . . in a bus. . . doesnt sound to bad right XD i mean i sat in a bus for like 8 hours (over night) to get to georgia (: 


retreat center. i heard they had a pool :D so guess what i will be doing ^_^ SWIMMING! oh not to mention shoot some hoop (: yea fun stuff. 


i do hope i make new friend (: which i probably will. friends are always fun to make and have. haha maybe i can become like john and know like ALL the koreans XD i dont think i will take it THAT far. its kinda scary how he knows them all O_O but its john so its okay i guess. 


soooo speaking about church(:
i made a couple new friends at my church 
Shy is such a nice girl but is true to her name (: esp during praise and worship. but its okay(: ill get her to go crazy with me one day 
then there is ZOEY(:
very nice girl. always smiling. she is out going too :D which is great lol.
i miss going to youth group so much man :/ 
it used to be on wednesday. but then they changed it to friday and i cant make it on fridays T_T
sigh oh well. 
i still get to see some of them on sunday... i am surprised about how many kids from youth DONT attend sunday service... just a few years ago we had a WHOLE section just for youth in the sanctuary. . . but times change you know. kids think church gets boring. 
but i think church is starting to catch up(:
we have a new praise leader all the way from AUSTRALIA! hillsong(: 
he is energetic and fun and is just a breath of fresh air. 
he plays his music loud and the youth loves it.... but im not to sure about the elderly >.<


lets see. 
so yes(: retreat. jinju. fun. no? (:


3 more years of high school
mawhahahaha jinju and i will have so much fun in orchestra and our other classes >:D 
us and our lockers and backpacks and lunches and haha XD 
now. just need to drag joyce over from westorange and mimi from dp and we got us a great group (:


so i guess its time for the song of the day?
DRUM ROLL! 

All Time Low - Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't) 

awesome song(: cute music video :D

backpack (:

well i have to get a new back pack for school.
trying to find a black jansport one(:

oh school. how i miss you.
well not really you...
just my friends XD

hehe locker buddies? hell yea :P

today? summer?

hmm today. 

gonna hang with the family. 

work on FLVS. 

getting ready for the retreat(:

i cant wait for the retreat!!!
3 more days man. 
oh how i need a break from my family. 
so anyway(:
yesh! i get to go with jinju, mimi, and joyce :D 
and maybe brian XD if his bandcamp ends by then *fingers crossed*
i cant wait at all. 
but i might die >.< so many koreans man. 
but its okay(: ill blend in haha 

umm. 
i cant wait till school starts!
summer is getting REALLY boring but its all good. 
hmmmmmmmmm. 
so lets see. 
this is kinda old news but my cousin (hannah)
got me these awesome hand painted shoes for my birthday hehe i love them

so back to school(:
cant wait!
why?
cause jinju and i have practically most of the year planned XD 
what silly asians we are lol. 
lockers, lunch, not to mention ORCHESTRA :D 
event planners :P oh what fun we will have organizing events. 


and then there is the hanging out and maybe working?
yea >.< 15 already. gosh time flies. 
i still need to get my permit. 
my dad has to get back from his trip first then he will take me out and teach me how to drive ^_^


OMG!
i made a new friend(: well friends! but i have yet to meet one of them XD
i met joyce (jinjus awesome cousin) and i have found out that we have A LOT in common (:
and then there is brian
havent met him yet be he is soooo awesome(: haha 
turtles? yes turtles!

lets see.... 
my summer?
boring XD 
didnt really go anywhere 
read A LOT of books >.< 
yes i am a dork. i get it. 
but ORCH DURKS :P so its okay
umm... nothing much really... just... 
home. disney. family. some friends. yea. 
lol
movie!
hehe i watch despicable me(: kawaii ^_^ 
Inception was a good movie too :D 
lol my dad didnt exactly get it so i explained it to him after the movie.

i got to watch NINJA ASSASSINS with my bro (samuel) and might i add. it was AMAZINGLY BLOODY
but BI was HAWT! XD not gonna lie. 
but it was a good movie... we watched it on blue ray... so it was pretty epic(: 


so yes
i am very randomly skipping around here so i hope you keep up. 
but as i said earlier RETREAT :D 
4 days 3 nights (: yes very fun
get to be brothers and sisters in god and have a bunch of fun and meet new people. 
i hope i get to be cabin partners with people i know >.< but if not then its okay(: i can become friends with others. 
oh! 
my awesome chica celeste is feeling better and turning back to God. so that is fantastic news am i right? new year its just me jinju and celetes against the world(: maybe we can find our awesome capes and wear them to school one day lol. that was a fun feild trip. i love orchestra(: we are like a family... wait no scratch that. we ARE a family(: 


so next year?
sharing lockers? random lunches? awesome music (: 
we might go to San Fransisco or Chicago. 
I hope we go to Chicago >.< its so musical and artist there i cant wait!!!!
orchestra trips are the best. and if you dont know what i mean then join a musical group and travel with them! 

so this trip... i will be trying to learn some korean phrases XD oh jeezzzzz
but they mostly speak english because they are cool like that. 
yes i have a lot of korean friend! but dont get my wrong(: my chica is just as amazing. 


im just the odd ball XD 
malaysian-chinese-american (only because i was born in the US)
but i have some chinese friends too(: 
yea and all the japanese kids go to our rival school XD


Man im going to die next year >.< 2 AP classes, and the APEX program. 
lets pray latin and algerbra 2 isnt TOO bad and i know orchestra will be fun(: 

you're right

you are right.

i dont understand you. 

but the thing is... 

i dont want to understand you. 


i will think what i want. thank you very much. 
you had your reasons. 
and yea
i know you made your choice. 


but you didn't have to do it in that way. 
you could have done it differently. 


you are so messed up and sick.
you didnt just hurt him...
you hurt a whole family.
you hurt CHILDREN. 


i dont care if you hurt me. 
because i stopped caring about you. 
but you hurt THEM. 
they were the people who cared about you the most.




i dont want to be there. 
i dont want to be ANYWHERE near where you are. 
i dont want to sink as low as YOU. 
you can stay there for all i care. 
in fact. 
i'll throw you a shovel. 
and watch you dig yourself deeper. 
thats all i have to say to you. 

-
a 100 level up

________________________________________________

RIP big bro
i am sorry i couldnt stop you. 
i am sorry that you were so hurt. 
i wish i could turn back time. 
i wish i could have kept you alive...
but that wasnt up to me. 
that was up to your love. 
and your love gave up. 
i am sorry that you gave up too.
but i am happy that you can be at peace now. 


- 
missing you

are you happy?

he is dead

are you happy now? 

he is gone

can you smile now?

He is never coming back.... 

and i miss him so much. 

turn back time. 

take back what you said to him. 

maybe then he would still be here. . .

HE. LOVES. YOU... he loves only you.

but you just can't see that. 

now he rather die then move on.

he rather end it all here then go through the pain. 

he is strong.

but 

"only a broken heart can kill him" 

.... 

and killed him it did. 

are you happy now?