mother.

im the only girl.

my mother and i dont exactly love each other.

in fact we could probably live without each other. 

she loves to make things so complicated for me.

she likes to presure me to the point where i feel like screaming to the world.

she makes me feel ugly.

she cuts me down.

she doesnt motivate me.

we dont talk.

we arent "best friend" like all the other mothers and daughter.

and you know the saddest part?

i cry and she just shrugs it off.

thanks mom.

i love you to.

i pray. beg. hope. that the next two years go by fast.

i just want to get away from all of this negativity.

"yea. you can go to lake yale. wait. we can all go. oh wait. no one in the family can go. wait you have finals! oh wait your friends mom just called. you can go. ill sign you up later."


..........................

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO SIGN UP.

WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!?!?

hoping. praying. begging.

so i want to go on this retreat in may... 

may 27 to be exact. and see its two weeks beforfinals. 

and my mom is being all stupid and using that as an excuse to not let me go. 

but I WANT TO FREAKING GO!

UGH!

shoot me someone.

i get back on sunday and i dont have school monday of that week and my mom is all like "oh well i dont know because then you have finals two weeks after.

ITS FREAKING TWO WEEKS MOTHER!

I HANE ANOTHER TWO WEEKS TO STUDY!

*takes a deep breath*

anyway.

i want to go to Lake Yale.

Period. 

guess ill ask my dad (:

PEACE LOVE HAPPINESS

ayyyyyyy(:

okay!

yes im late

yes ive been busy >.<

i think i have gotten sick because now i am coughing and have this huge headache ):

anyway!

so last we was good. fcat.

poop.

um

FRIDAY :D

youth again (: 

hehe so much fun!

lol

we danced again.

danced with tommy most of the time?

yea... a bit awkward but it was so fun XD

and then danced with joe? and then alex? and then trung?

i forget who else.... but yea. 

then we got a serman from a newly wedded couple (:

they were married in junary. so cute >.<

so anyway

yea.

then we broke of into small groups.

and i learned that even after marriage, not everything is PERFECT

i mean i guess i knew this before.

but i thought that at least some things would be better.

um.

so far this week is pretty good.

tired.

but good (:

learning to just live lol

not take things to heart. 

just moving on you know?

CAN NOT WAIT FOR HIGH SCHOOL TO BE OVER!

so this weekend was prom

and yesterday a bunch of seniors skipped

idk.

maybe i will go to prom (:

sounds fun

anyway.

im a bit tired.

and i have to get of now.

but yea.

for now.

ttyl (:

and ps. i got to dance with him :P

which one?

i will never tell MAWHAHAHAHA

cant wait til friday

maybe ill make a video and show you guys XD

kay well.

_____________________________________________
Song Of The Week: Price Tag by Jessie J

Bible Verse Of The Week: 2 Corithians 5:7

Quote Of The Week: All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

PHOTO OF THE WEEK:

not taken by me but cool nonetheless >.< :D

okay so remember guys!

YOU ARE:

LOVED <3

BEAUTIFUL (:

UNIQUE ^_^

 Peace. Love. Happiness. God.

hello world(:

okay. well i havent been on in a while :/ 

so this will be a little late

sorry guys.

so lets catch you up (:

FRIDAY!

went to youth group

alex gave me a ride along with a bunch of other people 

THANK YOU!! (:

we just sat around and watched the guys play bball for a while

then we had dinner

then we started!

okay so we are learning about

"relationships"

boyfriend/girlfriend

and its really cool(:

i'll tell you what i learned later.

okay so BEFORE we talked

we
DANCED

we learned to ballroom dance lol

and we werent allowed to dance with the same gender

so it was a tad bit awkward (:

the guy i wanted to dance with was taken by another girl 

-_-"

but thats okay lol

so i danced with justin and we laughed our butts off

but we actually made a lot of progress (:

who knew clumsy old me could ballroom dance

so yes. we did that for like 40-50 minutes?

so then yea...

then we sat and talked :D

so on friday i learned that

God wanted us to be equally yoked in a relationship.

He wants us to carry the burden together

he wants both of us to go equal amounts of work

he also wants us to be on the same spiritual levels

and this will allow us to see eye to eye

and we are able to support on another

and we are also able to push each other to seek god more and more

i also learned that

relationships are meant to see if

that person is who you would want to marry

so basiclly

you date to see if you two will marry.

THANK YOU SAMANTHA FOR THE LESSON (:

so then afterwards

we broke into small groups and talked about

what we could do to show we care

and also if we felt it was right for us to be in relationships yet

so yup (:

then after that!

i got to have a really cool conversation with trung!

lol he is a pretty cool cat if i do say so myself.

since i missed his lesson the week before,

i asked him his views on relationships.

i actually learned a lot from the man

believe it or not.

so yes it was a very educational experience

and this coming friday i get to go again :D

and we are dancing

AGAIN

fridays are what helps me get through my week

thank you god for giving me such great friends

and also for introducing me to all of them

and for allowing me to go to this youth group

so today.

monday.

bleh.

F C A T

sooooo boring!

i finished my test within 35 minutes...

so i got to sit there for another 35 minutes 

and do

absolutely NOTHING

the prompter was cool as ice

but he wouldnt let me take notes for my AP world class

because my test might be invalidated :/

so i sat there and doodled in my book thingy and yea

and the prompter and i just sat there and waited for everyone to finish

every year it amazes me how many people take the whole 70 minutes.

but i am happy that they finished (:

better on time then never right?

and who am i to judge. 

i was just extremely bored.

so then after the test.

we sat around for 30 minutes

(i took notes then)

and then went to lunch.

went back to the room for another 45 minutes -_-"

and then off to 4 and 5 period (:

4 period we watched kids be racist in a video in the 70s 

then in 5th period we watched this series on greek mythology 

that was made in like the 80s and the quality made me want to cry. 

and to imagine tomorrow i have to do it all over again

except i will have 6th and 7th period.

fuuuuuun stuuuuuff

soo (:

now i shall leave you all with a few more notes!

Song Of The Week: Born This Way - Lady Gaga

Bible Verse Of The Week - Matthew 11:28-30

you are 

b e a u t i f u l

&

JESUS LOVES YOU (:

photo of the week: