I Love... I Miss... I Need... I Am...

i love...

You

Friends

Family

Life

God

Music

Violins

People

English

Books

Art

Creativity

Movies

Hanging Out

Cookies

Swimming

Writing

Drawing

Photography

i miss...

You

The Past

Forgotten Memories

The Old Days

Childhood

Disney Movies

Playgrounds

Simplicity

Ramdomness

Equality

Snow

Running in the Rain

Cloud Watching

Dress Up

Pretend

Cooties

Once upon a times

i need... 

You

art

music

God

love

hate

desperation

confidence

motivation

friends

family

i am...

beautiful

amazing

talented

loved

one of a kind

crazy

artistic 

fun

outgoing

shy

persistent 

hard headed

silly

weird

friendly
talkative
interesting
"special"
committed
caring
ME

umm?

i have nooooo clue what is going on?

but i hope everything works out for the best this time. 

so lets see.

my mom got an iphone 4.... yea

i have been 

bored. 

reading for ap world and writing my paper...

missing people. 

hating school

not liking life

disliking family

jamming to music

writing

drawing

reading

thinking

who knew life as a teenager could really just plain suck

there is a lot of reflecting

trail and error

heartbreak and tears

smiles and laughs

man life is a bipolar prick isnt it?

oh well(: 

as i have said before 

P L U H

☮  ♥  (:

GET BENT!

don't you just hate it when you have to live with a much of idiots.

i ask one fucking question and my brothers have to yell and scream at me

and then my mom goes and bitches about how i am such a horrible daughter

yea.

and they all still ask why i am so emotionally unstable

......

MAYBE BECAUSE ALL YOU IDIOTS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE

MAYBE BECAUSE EVERY FUCKING DAY YOU DRAG ME THROUGH THE MUD

MAYBE BECAUSE ALL YOU DO IS TEAM UP ON ME AND ALL I CAN DO IS HIDE THE FUCKING PAIN

MAYBE BECAUSE YOU ALL ARE CUTTING ME ON THE INSIDE

MAYBE BECAUSE YOU KEEP TELLING ME IM A WRECK

MAYBE BECAUSE ALL I DID WAS ASK A FUCKING BLOODY QUESTION AND THE WHOLE WORLD HAS TO EXPLODE IN MY FACE AND THROW ME TO HELL AND BACK

......

maybe because every day.... 

ever moment... 

every second...

everything you say to me.... 

hurts more then you can ever imagine...

maybe because i try so hard to make you all happy and proud

and everyday you tell me i failed...

you tell me im not good enough

you tell me i will never make it...

im sorry i am stupid.

im sorry i cant give you want you want.

im sorry that everything i do disappoints you.

im sorry i can never be good enough.

im sorry for everything...

but what i am most sorry for

....

i'm sorry i can't be 

P E R F E C T

yoyoyo(:

okay!

so friday?

i had sooooo much fun with my friends

celeste, amnie, and jinju

oh hell yes. 

we went to albertsons and everyone made me feel old and like a mother -_-"

then we went to my crib and watch ninja assassins ^_^

yes. bi is VERY hot. 

then amnie had to leave ):

and we just chilled and talked and walked around. 

then everyone left and i chilled and read(:

great day man!

hmmmm

so saturday?

went to MGM (hollywood studios) 

and it was there when i realized truely

how BORING my family is

then sunday.

church and florida mall(:

i bought flipflops and tshirts hehe

then today?

ate there crazy good pancakes.

read and moodled lol

chilled

hopped on the computer and here i am(:

we will be going to epcot soon :D 

yay!

i can travel around the world in 2 hours XD

so yes(:

lets see.

we have to read a thousand splendid suns for english...

the thing is...

i read it... like... 3 times... over the summer

so now its the 4th time i am reading this book and jalil STILL pisses me off man.

that man is such a hypocrite!

grrr >.<

okay so anyway...

i miss him...

like always...

i am still waiting for the day 

when he shows up at my door step and i just run into his arms

i havent talked to him in weeks

he is so busy. 

but everyday i hold on to the hope that he is there.

that he will come. 

his sister is moving away soon. . . 

and i dont know what he will do. 

sigh.

love.

oh what love does to us girls.

on a lighter note.

CHICAGO! 

we are goin g chicago(: we are going to chicago!

oh yea uhhuh!

hehe(:

orchestra trip ftw!

we are going to have a BLAST :D

lol(: yes i love orchestra. 

get over it :P

soooooo my friend squgiggle line is being like the idiotic child he is lol

wanna read our convo?

Squgiggle: Sammy... how do you spelll triple e's name?

me: bro... are you serious?

squgiggle: uhhh yes?

me: ... dude... e-e-e

squgiggle: ... holy crap i feel like a dumbbutt

me: lol good XD 

kay.

well its time for me to go hang with the family.

kay... bye(:

Hey everybody!
Take a look around.
Put your money where your mouth is take your eyes of the ground.
We got a hard days work if we cant work out.
All the pissy little problems that we're fighting about.

FUN(:

okay so today.

i had a

BUTT LOAD 

of homework man.

tomorrow i have like 3 quizzes in a row ):

and then yea... more homework

then on friday! 

i have an orchestra quiz(:

and then my sistas

CELESTE and JINJU

will be coming over to mah house and we are going to watch movies(:

hehe maybe ninja assassins, human centipede ... and yea

a lot more movies(:

and maybe stuff our faces?

but i am happy(:
3 day weekend man!

whoot whoot!

so then on saturday i might go to church with jinju?

then sunday church...

then monday... maybe hang with people? idk

we shall have to wait and see(: 

well now i have to go study my elements for my chem. quiz.

wish me luck people(:

P E A C E (: