happy(:

sooo today after school(:

soo came to pick jinju and i up and we went out for panara bread and menchies(:

it was fun but we were all so tired T_T

i FINALLY got to go to menchies(:

so i am happy!

lol then after we were going to say hi to min at her practice but she was no where to be found O_O

so then we drove around my neighborhood with our seats back and music blasting like we were G or something XD

yea.

so i jsut wrote my moodle for english(:

and now im off to do more homework(:

kaybye
PLUH!

HEY(:

H O L A  P E O P L E (:

sorry i havent been writing lately :/

been busy with school stuff. 

anyway(: 

yes. school is going GREAT :D 

this year is freaking amazing as fuhhhh!

haha

and its only been 1 week. 

so i cant wait!

celeste, jinju, and i have really grown as sisters(:

and uhhh jinju and i are freaking shaking the world up

yes. we are insane. 

deal with it. 

sooooo

i layered my hair? and its like a rough look now XD

so yea. 

but dude. 

first week of school. 

there was this crazy kid staring at jinju O_O

but i wasnt there to witness it ):

but lunch is ballin man. 

get to have it with jieun danisha and celete

grant makes barking sounds -_-"

but its okay. 

so.  i have a butt load of homework >.<

its all about time management right?

and well... its time to be responsible?

so yea(:

grrr. with all this work i still have him in the back of my mind.

but he is like U B B E R busy.

so i can wait(:

umm lets see.

i made a lot of new friends(:

yes!

friends. fun stuff :D 

so umm... 

my chem room is 64 degrees (:

LOVE IT! 

yea. i know. im a weird "floridian"

i BEG for snow.......

ANYWAY!

seabass's bday was on sunday?

and he asked for brownies and i told him i would make them for him.

and i dont think he fully believed me?

so yea.

i proved him wrong :P

and apparently they were A M A Z I N G!

oh me and my skillz XD 

so tomorrow(:

gonna go through the day and usual.

classes then chill at lunch with my chica celeste

then classes

then ORCH DURKS with my sista jinju

then class

THEN!

school ends :D 

and then jinju and i be hanging with soo and joyce after school (:

soo is such a awesome person XD 

we be going to eat and shop?

yes(:

OHMAHGAWD!

new band(:

yes?

haha i jsut picked a cd off the shelf at the library and well yea.... 

soooooo they are called

FM Static (:

great band awesome lyrics

one of my fav songs?

Boy Moves To A New Town With Optimistic Outlook

<

i also like their songs

The Shindig (Off To College) 

&

The Voyager Of Beliefs 

so yea lol XD

i basicly wake up to them? and jump around my room getting ready... 

at 5 30 in the morning -_-" 

lol(:

sooooo..... yea...

idk what to write anymore XD

kay bye!

C A L L O H ! 

C A L L A Y ! 

H A V E  

A  

F R A B J O U S 

D A Y (:

firstday(:

soooooo today!

it was the first day of SCHOOL!

i was so excited(:

umm.

yea. 

i got to see my wife best friend and sista jinju in the morning

then i went to first period? 

that was... intresting lol

i have APEX Chem Hon.... with amnie!

the teacher seemed nice. 

then i was of to algebra 2 hon.

the teacher was cool(:

she was really intresting to talk to 

then i went to APEX english.

the teacher was .... intresting?

lol but i heard that he was a really good teacher(: so i am happy about that!

then i went to AP psychology and the teacher was a bubbly lady XD

she seemed nice... but you never know(:

then lunch?

then Latin 1.

oh. my. god. 

my latin teacher....

you just have to be there XD its just so... GAY!

lol. seriously. my latin teacher is gay. 

but he is such a funny man!

oh goodness.

then i had orchestra(:

it was kinda boring in there?

but thats because we just talked about the school year and what not. 

tomorrow we start to play!

i cant wait to just sit and let the music flow out.

then after that 

i went to APWH

or WHAP as my teacher likes to say -_-"

she seems okay.

but strict...and no fun... -_-" reminds me of ms. moon...... 

yea. idk. oh well. 

today was good(:

i got to see everyone i missed!

but i didnt get to see many of my freshman buddies! so i couldnt bother them and make them lost XD

YAY! (:

i just got a graphing calculator :P 

just thought i should share lol

i am still missing this person but i am waiting patiently(:

he has been very busy lately soooooo yes

school is starting in 1 days :D 

i am EXCITED!!!!

finally!

haha one more project to finish(:

i just need to make 2 posters?

oh my creativity is BUBBLING! 

the AP world history teacher seemed nice and mean? idk how to put it

but i think her and i clicked really well(: sooooo yes.

i cant wait! 

seriously! summer was SOOOOOOO boring T_T 

EXCEPT 

for me hanging with my bff and sista jinju(:

i am ready to rock my violin and read it up in english!

yes. im a nerd. get over it :P

PLUH!

haircut(:

okay.

so i know, i know

i was going to grow my hair and all.

BUT! 

see originally i had a bob cut and when i was growing it out it looked kinda.... weird?

so i decided to just cut it all even or at least semi even 

with a little angle so that when it grows out it wont look so weird(:

so yes world.

i am still growing my hair out(: just needed to get rid of spit ends and the weird shape(:

but i am happy because i can still tie it up and 

its fun to mess up my hair and watch it go back to normal like nothing happened

and yes.

to all of you who are concerned 

i still have the "sammy poof"

guys. its not going away.

my hair is thick.

as thick a a rainforest.

so just chill. i have the sammy poof and we are all good(:

i love you

grr ):

why do i miss him so much?

i feel like dying.

i can't even sleep properly

sigh. i need to be patient. lets think of things to do while waiting. 

umm today. 

going to an orchestra meeting with my

B E S T F R I E N D 

and S I S T ER (:

J I N J U  

F R E A K I N G  

A W E S O M E  

L E E 

so let me just tell you some stuff about us(:

we have been friends for a couple months now but we really just clicked.

we are both sisters in christ and literally sisters :P

we go to the same school. same grade.

i love her family and her little sister.

we have so much in common haha

we come up with the craziest things EVER!

D U R K S <3

 then we hang out when ever we can and just chill.

we have orchestra and we rock our violins together.

who ever said orchestra is boring just come and watch our concerts.

you will fall in love with orchestral music. 

umm.

i went to her church a couple times and on her retreat and i met a lot of people and yea(:

more friends! yay!

i am becoming like john XD invading the korean society.

but jinju and i depend on each other so much. 

we have been through A LOT.

i am so happy to have such a wonderful friend like jinju

yea its only been a few months but guess what?

we are going to go for years :P

and nothing is going to stop us from having a great friendship.

and guess what :D

i get to see her today!

haha orchestra meeting.

we are project managers so yes. managing projects(:

and then TOMORROW! 

i get to see my sister again(:

why?

well because of open house :P 

to bad we only have one class together and we dont even have lunch together :/

grrrrrrrr not cool man. 

its all good(:

cause guess what

on wednesdays

our awesome friend soo, and joyce are going to come pick us (and maybe mimi) up 

and we are going to just go out and have fun(:

yes i know. we are so smart.

lol it will just be like that time we went to bento!

this year is going to be a blast(:

i just know it will <3

-_-"

my. "family". pisses. the. shit. out. of. me. 

i am just pissed as fuck right now. 

thanks "family." -_-"

all i want right now is to talk to him. sigh where is he. ):

grrrr ]:

you know how you want to talk to that one person but your daily schedules are just butts? 

yea. thats just how i feel right now T_T 

i just wanna talk to him man. but its okay i can wait(:

soooo today(:

church. lunch. home. online school. maybe shopping for some school stuff?

text people. call people. be bored. wait patiently(:

i still want my instant film camera.

the thing is i cant find a store that sells them sigh. 

i get that we are digital now people. 

but i want a camera that gives me my pic instantly! 

song of the day(:

From The Inside Out - Hillsong(:

great song(: hillsong is the best!

oh!
and dont forget!!!

<3 I LOVE YOU (:

I LOVE YOU(:

simple as that.

don't ever forget.

don't ever let anyone tell you other wise.

and let nothing get in the way of our happiness.

what ever happens this will never change.

once you love someone you never stop loving them.

so don't ever think for a second I stopped.

I will love you for eternity.

for always and ever.

if you ever doubt me then i am not doing my job.

i will work harder for you.

i will go through anything for you.

i will do anything for you.

just to make sure you feel loved.

just to make sure you never forget.

i will never leave.

not for a second.

i will always wait.

and i will never stop believing.

i love you.

Mindset

mindset(: 

great song! 

anyway. today is kinda boring i guess. 

i did my online assignment and we are going to go out for lunch.

then maybe Hollywood Studios?

my mom and i are trying to convice my lazy brothers to get out of the house. 

all they do is sit and play vidoe games... and my youngest brother is 5...

see how my 13 soon to be 14 year old brother has influenced him?

not. good. 

i want to get out!

go somewhere!

do something!

sigh. 

oh well.

anyway(:

you know whats really weird?

my best friend is at the beach with her family and a bunch of two year olds XD

her two year old sister was able to bring friends to the beach with them for like 3 days but my best friend

who just so happens to turn 16 in november can't take one friend with her. 

do you know how upsetting that is?

but i wouldnt have been able to go anyway. 

i hope she is having fun(:

BEACH
S U N S H I N E(:

so time for a pic? 

wanna see what i look like right now? 

today? 

in the life?

what do you think?

i have a lot more because i got bored but i decided on this one cause its not to crazy(:

hmmm well now its pouring out side the window

i hope it stops soon so we can leave. 

if not then maybe ill go for a run in the rain

P E A C E. 

L O V E. 

H A P P I E N S S.

awww(:

okay so today(:

umm nothing much. just go get my schedule and hang out with my friends celeste, jinju, and jieun(:

SCHEDULE(:

Apex Chem- Ostenburg

Hon Algebra 2- Coleson

Apex English 2- Pearl

AP psychology- Lasowski

Latin 1- Pagan

Phill - SIMPSON :D 

AP World- Pachnik

GAH! 2 AP classes 2 APEX CLASSES Latin, and Algebra 2. 

i kinda gave up spanish 3 :/ i thought Latin would be more helpful on my SATs

but i might take spanish 3 online(:

Soooooo guess who i talked to today?(:

My awesome friend Hanna from Illinois. 

She had some crazy news to tell me today! and i am so excited for her!!!

she. is. moving. to. 
HONG KONG! 

and guess what? 

she is going to be a model

oh good luck hanna(: best wishes!

and then i talked to Evan
her brother
and man. i have to say. . . 
he really really really changed for the better if i might add
sigh i missed him so much
its been like 3 years
O_O! 
but he is nicer and sweeter and just so kind(:
he really cleaned himself up you know?
and i am so proud of him
i have been so worried about him and what might happen to him
but today i learned that he really became a great man and i am proud to say that 
i love him(:
he is just so different but the same?
its hard to explain. 
he grew up but i can still see the wonderful Evan [:


i missed him so much
and he missed me too! 
so we chatted and he apologized for everything....
but the thing is... 
i already forgave him a long time ago
and he didnt have to apologize for anything because 
what happened happened and we all learned from it right?
sigh. how the time passes. 
its been 3 years and it feels like only a second sometimes. and sometimes it feels like 1000 years. 
all i know is that. we still have eternity ahead of us(:

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re sayin’ You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me

today?

umm... 

doctors. healthy(: asthma going away. 

umm... then chipotle? yummy stuff...

then home.... 

and umm.. 

clean... 

and then YMCA :D and then... 

CVS... 

then home(: 

gonna go watch a movie with my bros tomorrow(:

PEACE!

love is OUR weapon(:

Hey everybody take a look around
Put your money where your mouth is
Take your eyes off the ground
We got a hard day coming if we can't work out
All the pissy little problems that were fightin' about

aye!

I never got involved with politics
'cause they always brought out the worst in my folks
But I always swore to them if I could make a change at all
I'd love this world before it implodes

We all want change
And we want it now

Hey everybody take a look around
Put your money where your mouth is
Take your eyes off the ground
We got a hard day coming if we can't work out
All the pissy little problems that were fightin' about

aye!

Love is the weapon for this lukewarm congregation
Love is the only thing that's kept me believing
Love is the weapon for this wounded generation
Love is the only thing that's kept me believing

That the world will change
(world will change)
We all want change
(want it now)

Hey everybody take a look around
Put your money where your mouth is
Take your eyes off the ground
We got a hard day coming if we can't work out
All the pissy little problems that were fightin' about

aye!

Hey everybody take a look around
Put your money where your mouth is
Take your eyes off the ground

GAH!

okay. so like at retreat i kinda liked this guy right?

he was cute XD inside and out man. 

such a funny kid. 

anyway. yea. so like. he doesnt like me? he likes my friends >.<

haha my other friend was like ITS SO OBVIOUS! 

he was looking at her like the WHOLE retreat. 

but its okay(:

i just.... 

idk lol. 

im confused now. 

cause i like him

but its like.... GAH!

stupid guys! T_T

anyway(:

umm. today. church. lunch. home. took a nap. watch like half of kungfu panda with my bros. then they all left and i am home alone. 

BORED 

GAH! 

stupid boys 

but its okay(:

liking a boy is fine. 

it only becomes bad if you start taking action right?

so imma just sit here (: 

and let it all play out.

plus i wont be able to see him >.< 

so it probably wont work... yea. idk 

WAPOW(:

ello world(:
well i am back from retreat and man did i have fun!
the first day was kinda.... eh you know? cause i didnt really know people. but my TEAM was really nice and welcoming hehe "The Unburied Life" we worked so hard together and suffered and rejoyced together. how i love fellow ship(:
any way :P

first day. 
got there. played ice breaking games (musical chairs, elimination) then we got into our groups and presented our names. then DINER. then our session and talked in small groups. 
OK. so let me just tell you. the first day was so fun and i met so many new people and had such a great time. my small group was so easy to talk to also. SISTERS IN CHRIST(:

then my room mates Soo Ha and Jinju we just the best man. sooha was so funny and it was so easy to be open with her you know? she is like a big sister(: i love her and her weirdness "hey! you guys! smell my socks XD"


second day. 
sooo. woke up. ate CEREAL! session, small groups(:, team meeting. LUNCH WITH MY YOUNGER BUDDIES :P, then we have some pretty competitive and epic games haha. team meeting. lol "FIGHteam"  ummmmmm.. then dinner. and did our skits(: then another session. small groups and snacks. 


oh my gosh. during the night session i just cried like crazy. the tears just wouldnt stop. Pastor was telling us about how God is our great heavenly father and that he loves us more then we can ever know. He talked about how if our family was just falling apart we could always turn to God and fall into his open arms and he will always love us and he will always be a father to us no matter what. 

then Pastor stood up and held his arms open and told us to just come one at a time during worship and he just wanted to give us a hug from God and he told us that God just wanted to hug us and make up for all our parents. That just got to me you know? because like RIGHT before the retreat my mom and i got into a huge fight and i just... i hurt to much you know? and when he said that it just really pulled at my heart and at first i was really hesitant about going up. but then this song started playing and i just couldnt hold back any more. so i get in line and i just couldnt wait another second to get up there and just fall in his arms. i literally started crying while in line because i just couldnt hold back any more


i got up there. and i just fell into his arms and started crying like there was no tomorrow. i was shaking so hard and i just lost track of what was going on. i could feel God just embracing me and pastor said some things that really just helped me. God works in such different ways. and pastor just KNEW what to say to me you know? I would write about what he prayed over me. but its like... my prayer you know? and yea. so then after he prayed over me, i just could stop crying. so then one of the pastor's wifes just embraced me and let me cry to my hearts content and just allowed me to share some things and she prayed over me and stayed with me until i calmed down a little. i mean i was still crying but it was still just... really good. i felt like i was so loved by God you know? it confermed to me that God really did love me and his love was everlasting. that he loves me for WHO i am. not WHAT i am. he loves my inward appearence rather then my outward appearence.  That night was just so moving. it has truely changed me you know? 


third day. 
wake up. eat. session. small groups(:, seminar, lunch with ruby (or ddong) XD, then pilgrims progress >.<, Free time (aka NAP time), Dinner, Session, Small groups, snacks. 


hmmm so lets see here. 
Pilgrims progress >.< oh. my. lordy! i was going to DIE! but it taught us a lot of lessons. see they give you these 5 tasks to complete with your team. and you have to work as a team. but here is the catch, you cant drink ANY water during the time the games start. (number ONE rule- dont drink ANY water on the events) so all of these games were so physical. 

Our first task was to shoot a basket and everytime we missed our WHOLE team would have to run a lap.  (we ran about 36 laps). our team leader Kenny. he was the most supportive of us all. this little kid was so tired of running and we still have 5 laps till the next person and kenny with out complaining just told the kid to climb on his back and he ran with that kid on his back for most of the time in the hot sun. 
and the lesson we learned is that together we suffer as a team and that in christianity if one person in the body suffers then we all share their suffering. 

Our second task was to move one person from one side OVER a string hanging about 5 1/2 feet  to the other side. and one of our memebers fell and twisted his ankle and he just insisted to keep going even though we kept telling him to just go sit down and relax. 
and from this we learned to carry each others burdens and that we have to help each other in times of need when they just need help being lifted up again. 


Our 3 task has many parts to it. 
First we had to run laps back and forth over this huge feild TOGETHER as a group (start together - finish together) and it was so tiring after we just ran 36 laps so we really needed to make sure everyone was staying together. and AGAIN kenny was carrying kids on his back running for them. he took their burden and helped them with it. and so when we were done we had to learn that a church ran together. that we do things as one. so if one person doesnt finish we all dont. some where along those lines. THEN after that he gave us all water and told us we could drink. and what did we do? we drank. >.< we completely forgot about the rule because we were so tired. and the lesson we learn from that is that we have to help each other not fall into tempation. 


Our 4 task we had to DUCK WALK! hehe(: if you dont know what that is then look it up :P
we did it differently (we held our ears too) so anyway. that was easy for me. i used to walk like that all the time when i was younger and i have good balance. most of our team was okay on it but some of the younger kids were having trouble you know? so everytime someone fell we had to start over. we only had to start over once so thats good(: everytime people would look like they were falling over we would put out our arms and help them regain their balance. hehe team work. 
the lesson here was, if some one falls away from chirst or away from the church then its okay that they can always start over. and they should have to start over alone. that we should be there to go on the path with them and help them get back to christ. so we go on the path of christ together. 

then the fifth task >.<
we had to carry this picnic table out to this field and then we had to stand in a circle and hold our arms out at shoulder level for 5 minutes with out putting them down. everyone's arms were about to FALL off. you know? but then we learn home Jesus had to stay on the cross for DAYS and that our pain was nothing to the pain he felt.

OKAY(:

Forth day. 
rise and shine(: breakfast, session, small groups, annoucing winners, lunch(: hehe (philly cheese steaks) then pack and clean. 


>.< oh goodness. so when we left we were driving on the road for about 30-45 minutes right? then our bus ran out of battery. we sat there for about 30-45 minutes waiting for the guy to figure out what was wrong right? and it was SO hot in the bus >.< but its okay(: we got to talk and spend time together and sing random songs lol. then umm he finally called for another bus. so we had to wait for an hour to get there so moer bonding time! yay(: sooo umm when the bus got there we were like YAY!!!!! and yea. so anyway. we were talking on the bus and Soo was like "hey girls, wanna go for dinner? ill take you out" and i was like "sure(:" and so it was Me, Jinju, Joyce, Min, and Soo that went out for dinner. and in the car soo was like ".... im almost out of gas... and i didnt bring anymoney!" and we were like "WHAT!" lol but its okay. we stopped for gas lol $5 worth of gas. then we went to BENTO! their Mount Fuji Roll and Flying Dragon roll were so good(: we all shared sushi and min and soo got bento boxes. it was so fun and we got boba tea(: yummy its been forever since we got that lol. so anyway. the bill came right? and it ended up to be 83.22 . and we all tried to pitch in. but i ended up paying the most lol. but thats not a problem you know? it was just nice to hang out. and Soo was like "NO! i am going to pay you back! i will!" and i was like "okay okay." so then we drove home and i took a shower and my arms were aching like crazy. but then i was here typing this and i was really tired and i just finished task 3 and i was like ".... i'll finish it tomorrow" so i like hit the bed, prayed, and just passed out! so here i am in the morning did my morning devotion and now finishing this(:

As i have said before, this retreat was SO good. 

in so many ways. 

good for the soul.

good for our selfesteem

good for friendships

good for our relationship with God. 

I really had so much fun. Everyone was so nice and the Pastors really cared you know? 

Everyone was so surprised that i wasnt Korean lol XD it was funny though. 

but yea. it was fum. got to hang out with my best friend and my sister and shared tears and laughs together. 

lol we girl were soooooo weird at night man. we were total guys if not MORE then guys at night man. burping and what not. 

i think i will ask jinju to join me on my church retreat this year(:

I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT RETREAT!

it. was.

A M A Z I N G (: